CELPIP Writing Task 1 Sample: Crafting Effective Emails
In this informative post, we will address the concerns about preparing for the CELPIP exam, particularly focusing on Writing Task 1, which involves composing an email. The primary objective of this blog is to guide viewers through the process of structuring an email for Writing Task 1 and offers insights on each step of the process.
Structuring the Email: The 12-Sentence Model
Use our unique 12-sentence model for structuring the email, which consists of four paragraphs with varying sentence lengths. The recommendation is to aim for approximately 10 to 14 sentences, ensuring diversity in sentence length. This structure provides a balanced approach to addressing the task while adhering to the word limit.
Paragraph Breakdown: A Step-by-Step Approach
- Introduction Paragraph
- The speaker suggests starting the email with a simple greeting: “Dear Hospital Manager.” The primary purpose of this paragraph is to establish the reason for writing the email. The speaker advises briefly introducing the situation without delving into details.
- Second Paragraph: First Point
- In this paragraph, the focus shifts to the first key point: describing the observed issues over the past week. The speaker recommends presenting this point in a concise manner followed by an example. By limiting each point to one sentence, the email maintains clarity and conciseness.
- Third Paragraph: Second Point
- Continuing the pattern, the third paragraph addresses the second key point: expressing dissatisfaction with the food quality. Again, the speaker suggests using a single sentence to present the point and follows it up with an illustrative example.
- Fourth Paragraph: Suggestion and Conclusion
- The fourth paragraph tackles the final key point: suggesting improvements. Here, the speaker advises offering a suggestion to enhance the food quality and briefly explaining the suggested changes. The conclusion is incorporated into this paragraph, highlighting the necessity of keeping the word count in mind. Depending on the overall word count at this point, the speaker suggests crafting a conclusion that matches the available space.
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Crafting the Sample Email: Putting Theory into Practice
SAMPLE ANSWER (using the above structure):
Dear Hospital Manager,
I am writing you to express a concern I have about the food quality at your hospital. My sister has been in the hospital for a week, and the meals provided to her have been notably lacking in nutrition.
So far, the meals have mainly consisted of carbohydrates and sugar. This dietary choice has negatively impacted my sister’s health. For instance, today’s lunch comprised potatoes and strawberry jell-o, foods with minimal nutritional value. This raises concerns about the patients’ ability to recover effectively under such conditions.
I would like to suggest a change in the meal plans. Perhaps patients could be offered fish or chicken for dinner every day to ensure an adequate protein intake. Additionally, serving a healthy salad along with a dairy product like yogurt or cheese for lunch could provide the necessary nutrients. Implementing a balanced diet of this nature could significantly accelerate the patients’ recovery.
I hope you consider my advice for the betterment of all patients’ health.
The example demonstrates how to effectively implement the recommended structure and model in response to the task prompt.
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